When we practice self-control, we do so by limiting and restraining those things which are in opposition to what God requires.   

Self-control in a person can take many forms. In other words, self-control will be shown in different ways for each individual person. For example: 

1. If someone does something bad to you – some people may want to get even with that person by abusing them or hitting them. The person needs to exercise self-control by restraining themselves.

2. If you like beer - you may be tempted to drink a lot of it and become drunk. By exercising self-control you will only drink alcohol in moderation.

3. If you enjoy food – some people will keep on eating it beyond what is healthy. These people need to show restraint in the amount of food they eat – they need self-control.

4. You are alone with your boyfriend or girlfriend – the temptation to have sex together is very real for some people. Self-control of their desires is important to avoid any unwise decisions being made.

Paul’s advice on self-control 

Paul thought that self-control was important and so he wrote a lot of advice about it. This can be seen in a letter he wrote to Titus. He stated that the elders must be self-controlled. 

He told Titus to teach self-control to the older men.

The older women were to teach self-control to the younger women.

The young men were also encouraged to have self-control. 

Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.  

So from these writings of Paul we can see that everybody needs to learn to be self-controlled. Paul made this such a big point because he knew that self-control does not come naturally. 

Self-control and sin (disobedience to God) 

Self-control is a challenge to everybody. Each person has some area in thought or action where they find self-control difficult. However, if we don’t exercise self-control then it can lead to sin (disobedience to God). 

All of these sins listed in these verses come about because of poor self-control. 

Praise of self-control 

Self-mastery is the greatest of all victories. 

Men who have subdued entire kingdoms have been defeated in the efforts to control themselves! For example, lack of self-control of a bad temper can be evidence of pride and impatience. There are many examples of those who did control their temper. David stayed calm when he was cursed. Nehemiah also showed that he could control his spirit even when the enemy sneered at him and attempted to destroy him. However Samson and Uzziah are examples of people who could not control themselves: 

So we have seen a couple examples of people who sinned because of lack of self control. Why did they have no self control? Because they had allowed the selfishness of their nature to control the way they behaved. They put themselves and their own motives before their fellow man and even more importantly before God. 

Self-control is like building a city wall 

Any good achievements we have had now or in the past may be overshadowed by us sinning because of lack of self-control. 

Just as a city with broken down walls could be easily conquered at the time of Hezekiah, so a man who has no control over his spirit (or emotions) is easily conquered.  

Solomon was another example of someone with self-control problems. He had no control over his spirit when it came to women. He had 700 wives and 300 concubines! They turned his heart to idolatry and so began the slow but unstoppable destruction of the city of Jerusalem. 

Another example of lack of self-control are the people of Lachish. Because the people of Lachish couldn’t control themselves in relation to idolatry, the Assyrians were able to destroy a seemingly impregnable fortress: 

Example of self-control: Joseph

In Egypt, Joseph was purchased by a wealthy man called Potiphar. For good service, Potiphar who was an officer of Pharaoh, made him controller of his house. It was a difficult, responsible position. Joseph was given full power because he was faithful and under his influence Potiphar’s house was blessed and prospered.

Amidst all his prosperity, however, Joseph was called upon to endure bitter slander. He stood apart, separate from the idolatry and sin that surrounded him. The wicked, designing wife of Potiphar, tempted Joseph, who remained upright and refused to sin against God and his master.

Now Joseph was well-built and handsome, and after a while his master's wife took notice of Joseph and said, "Come to bed with me!"  

But he refused. "With me in charge," he told her, "my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?" And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her.  

One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. She caught him by his cloak and said, "Come to bed with me!" But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house. Genesis Ch.39: 8 - 12  

Despite the numerous attempts for Potiphar’s wife to sleep with Joseph, he exercised self-control and refused to do it. The temptation was not from within Joseph’s heart. He honoured God who protected him in the midst of evil. We also can resist the severest temptation if we cultivate pure thoughts and place our trust in God.  

Discipline 

We need to show self-control in all the things we do. If we don't show proper self-control then we can expect to be disciplined. 

And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:

"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves,  and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." 

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?   Hebrews Ch.12: 5-7 

So it is obvious from these verses that God allows some things to happen to us in order to train us.  

Think about it, who loves his child more - the father who allows the child to do what will harm him, or the one who corrects, trains, and even punishes the child to help him learn what is right ? 

It's never pleasant to be corrected and disciplined by God, but his discipline is a sign of his deep love for us. When God corrects you, see it as proof of his love and ask him what he is trying to teach you. 

Summary 

God encourages each one of us to exercise self-control in all things we do. It is so important that it is one of seven fruits of the spirit: 

All people must show self-control but especially the elder who others look to as an example: 

Let us all develop the characteristic of self-control.